Love is a beautiful thing that can ever happen to you when you meet the right person and you guys really know what to do to keep the fire burning and stay happier. A happy relationship and marital life cannot be put on autopilot to survive. You have to work it out. In that same vein, there are some things that if you do not pay attention to them, they will destroy your relationship and marriage faster than you can ever imagine.
In this article, I will throw more light on the 20 habits that destroy your relationship and marriage faster in life. When done reading, kindly add your voice telling us your views and experiences about it.
20 Habits That Destroy Your Relationship Faster
- Lack of mutual respect
You cannot live and be happier with someone that does not respect you in life. Human beings are created to be loved, adored, appreciated and honoured. Our mutual existence is only possible when respect and the above are present. Never marry anyone that does not respect you, your values and your family members. You will be in slavery to marry someone who neither respects nor values you as well as your family.
- When love is missing
The only reason for which you will agree to date and marry someone is that you love the person and the person too does. You do not have any business in any relationship when love is missing. You are doing yourself more harm than good if you should continue with such a relationship.
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- When you talk too much, leak secrets and sensitive issues
I had a difficult time counseling a young man that finds it difficult to keep mute over some sensitive issues in his personal life and that of others. Having realized that he has a psychological problem, I referred him to see a professional psychologist having explained his conditions to him. He admits his problem, that’s not being able to keep secrets of other people and his own secrets. However, he has refused to see a professional for remedial solutions to his problem.
Over the weekend, he called me and told me he is engaged to a woman undergoing preparations to get married soon. Obviously, that young lady is the 7th to be dated. The earlier exes all jilted him because he talks too much, leaks secrets and sensitive issues. He who talks too much is likely to have all his sensitive issues becoming a public issue.
- When the woman is not ready to submit
Anyone that cannot learn to submit to any man has no business entering into a marital relationship in the first place. No man wants to marry anyone that cannot submit to him, respect and listen to him. Women, you are destroying your own marriage if you cannot submit to any man. It will not work; that is why the Bible admonishes wives to submit to their husbands while husbands are to love their wives.
- Extreme Selfish interest over the other person
I have come across many people especially ladies who pass comments like, “He is just using me to satisfy his lust and desires”. If you date an extremely selfish person who is insensitive to your needs, plans and welfare in life, you will definitely feel like you are being used as an object for satisfaction instead of having that mutual respect and treatment you need.
- When exes are still in the picture
Once you have moved on in life with another person, know that your exes belong to your past and you must keep them away from influencing your decisions and your future with your current partner.
- Unforgiving and finding it difficult to say sorry
You can never live with someone till death do you part without some petty squabbles. Offences are inevitable in relationships and marriages. Deal with the offences as they come.
- Extreme selflessness and obvious.
Relationship is always about making sacrifices for each other to show your love and appreciate each other. When selflessness gets to the extreme, it might turn into obsession and this might send a negative signal to your partner. Just imagine an extreme selfless guy who wants to always give 100% of his salary to his girlfriend to please her. Your selflessness at this stage would be seen as a weakness instead of deeper love for your partner.
- Lack of regular communication
Anytime communication becomes absent, know that the marriage or the relationship is heading towards extinction. It will not exist again. The relationship or the marriage is dead. Communication is one of the best and surest ways to keep your relationship alive.
- When distance becomes a problem
Distance is always a problem when it comes to maintaining any relationship and marriage but where frequent communication, love and transparency exists, distance may not be a problem at all.
- Nagging and frequent complaints
This makes your partner coil back into his or her shells and asks whether you guys are really meant for each other. Secondly, you might be tempted to believe that you have seriously found yourself in the wrong relationship and you will wonder whether you were bewitched to have fallen for this person.
- Lack of trust and faithfulness
Faithfulness and trust move hand in hand. Anybody that is not faithful cannot be trusted. If you know you cannot marry someone, sit down with the person and take it over and let the person leave in peace instead of cheating.
- When you are ungrateful
Anytime you take the kindness, sacrifices, love and efforts of your partner for granted, you are being ungrateful. You must learn to appreciate and be grateful for everything your partner does for you whether little or the bigger ones.
- Failure to apologize
Anytime you find yourself feeling too big and never ready to admit your wrongdoings, apologize and say sorry, then, know that you have an ego that is bigger than your relationship and marriage and it will soon crash.
- When all you want is sex, sex and more sex
Anytime you realize that all you want from your partner is sex, sex, more sex and a lot of sex then note that your relationship will soon break. Relationship and marriage is not all about sex and sex all the time.
- Leaving things messy
The habit of leaving things in a messy situation can destroy your relationship and your marriage. I once visited a couple. As I entered the sitting room, I was first greeted with the woman’s underwear, singlet and some towels left in the sofa. The man had to quickly push and pack some of the dirty clothes off the sofa before signaling me to sit down. It will surprise you to know that exhibiting messy habits in relationship may not lead to any good marriage.
- Addiction to bad habits
Whether alcohol, smoking, sex, being promiscuous or any other habit, addiction to any bad habit is detrimental to your relationship or marriage. Do not be a slave to any addiction; exercise self control over it if you really value your relationship or marriage.
- Over jealous and overprotective partner
Being overly jealous and overprotective without giving space to your partner could be very injurious to your relationship or marriage. In case of any issues of trust, sit down and talk about it and stop being overly jealous and overprotective. It will hurt both of you one day.
- When friendship and interactions are missing
Your partner is supposed to be your best friend, brother, sister and everything to you. If there is anyone that you always want to hang around with, then that should be your partner. If there is anyone that you enjoy the person’s company more than that of your partner, then, note that you are destroying the bond of friendship that should exist between you.
- That deadly secret and skeleton in your cupboard
If there is anything that you are still doing secretly behind your partner then note that, that particular thing has the potential of destroying your relationship and marriage. You must learn to tell your partner any secret which may crop up tomorrow and destroy your trust.
In conclusion, check your habits and some of the things that may destroy your relationship and marriage. Some unconscious personal habits could be a threat to a happy relationship and marriage.
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