Allow Your Man To Fail – Counselor Adofoli


One of the things every man dislikes is a woman who tries to control, change and order him; a wife who acts like a head mistress or a senior house mistress at school.

A man will run away from a wife who acts like his mother, trying to prevent them from making mistakes, restricting them as to where to go, how to plan, what to do, who to work with, talk to, be friends with etc.

It’s very normal to want to protect someone and not want them to fail when you love them, but to men, that’s not how we learn. Men are adventurous in nature, we love to explore and experiment, we want permission to test and come out with our own conclusion. I am not talking about self-destructive behaviours but decisions and choices we make as men.

Anytime a man is deprived of this, he feels disrespected, he feels treated as a boy and not the man he is or wants to be, as if he is one who doesn’t know what he is about.

This has caused many marriages and relationships to end prematurely. Some couples are fighting now because of this, and the peace and harmony in some homes has been messed up.

If you are a wife or a lady preparing for marriage then this message will do you lots of good; if not now, surely in the near future. Give your man permission to fail. Men learn from failure, it’s only boys who never learn from failure.

If a man never fails, he never learns and if he never learns, he will never grow. If you are praying, begging, waiting for your man to grow up then it’s best you allow them to fail. To men, it’s not called failure, it’s called adventure, it’s a learning process and a necessary factor for their growth to become who you want them to be.

If you find yourself battling this in your relationship, the best solution is to pray for God to give your man wisdom in his decision making instead of trying to be the headmistress at home. For the bible says “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking” – James 1:5 (NLT).

Whilst you are trusting God to give your man the wisdom he needs, be a friend, listen to him and support him even if the plans don’t make sense sometimes. That is a hallmark of true friendship; you might not be happy about some decisions your partner is making but once it makes him happy, you should try to be happy for them, for love is selfless.

Men love women who enjoy their madness rather than a woman who forces them to be who she wants him to be. Always remember husbands need wives who support and understand them, not another mother who tries to raise him up or correct him.

In conclusion, ladies, always remember the role you play in a man’s life: “And the Lord God said, “It isn’t good for man to be alone; I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs.” – Genesis 2:18 (TLB).

Please share with your friends, someone out there needs this.

Writer: Counselor Adofoli

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